I will never get tired of my view

My very first event with a Letter ending

The plan had been to take Banana to Watermelon. But, with her trailering issue it seemed less than wise. They weren't going to give me a refund so I scrambled to find a mount. I found one, though he was green, known for being evil and hadn't been ridden in six months. But, we were just doing the 20" division. And, even if I brought him and scratched before we went into the dressage arena I was fine with that. He needs mileage anyway.

Introducing Quirky the Connemara

Our first ride was two weeks beforehand. He's not really evil, but is extremely sensitive and does not deal well with pressure. So, I added pressure really subtly and felt well about things 4 rides in. Then I got sick and we went to Watermelon with only those four rides.

He was absolutely super on the ground. I couldn't have been more happy with him. He gave me a lovely dressage test that should have gotten a better score than it did.

We went into stadium warmup and he was fine until other people started coming in. We popped over an xrail and he bucked on landing.  Next time he bucked three times and was getting very unhappy. I took him out of the arena so we could take the pressure off. When we went back in we walked over the xrail and then trotted it without incident. All of a sudden it was time for our round. We started to leave the ring and at the gate he completely lost it. Spinning, bucking and thinking about running back to the barn. When he stopped I got off and said, "I'm not riding this pony." I did end up getting back on him, going into the show arena and walking over an xrail, which he was back to his quiet self for.

We have several theories about his change in behavior and will work on those in the future. When everything was over for the day we turned him out in a spare arena, figuring he needed to roll, run and buck. He didn't do any of those things. He just stood next to me, his nose on my elbow. When I walked, he walked. When I trotted he trotted, when I stopped he stopped. We did serpentines and circles all over the place. He really likes me.

I'm going to keep riding him on a regular basis. His mom is one of my partners-in-crime so having an excuse to go ride with her isn't exactly painful :D

RIP Condi

1984-2013 Photo from five days ago

A little over a week ago Condi started going downhill. His neck was so stiff he couldn't get his nose down to graze. He was better with bute, but that's not a long term solution, and better didn't mean he was cured. The vet was here on Tuesday to draw a coggins on Banana and he looked half dead. I decided then to put him down next week (as I was going away this weekend and didn't want to mess with the herd,) but as the day progressed he just got worse and worse. I put him down two days later (this morning,) which is the soonest a backhoe could get here.  He spent his last time with lots of bute so he could eat and be happy. The old man even set back and broke a lead rope this morning.

It's always hard to put down a horse, but this was really a very easy decision. It was time. Not being able to graze is no way to live. I shed tears and he's buried next to my beloved Fudge. The Taskmaster is devastated of course, she's known him for 27 years. But, he couldn't have had a more pleasant last year of his life. He had unlimited grass and a pony to boss around.

Enjoy those pastures in heaven sweet old man.

Banana in the pasture

I wanted to write a long thoughtful post about this, but I just don't have the time. Long story short... I seem to not be scared of Banana anymore. Could it return? Absolutely. But right now, after a good ride on her on Saturday and a fabulous ride at the show yesterday (four blues that we didn't need to beat anyone to get) I'm feeling perfectly fine on her. And, with help of friends with a stock trailer, she's now home at my place. She's less than thrilled with spending most of her time in the corral as I get her acclimated to the grass, but otherwise she's good. And I'm good. So life is good.

Bay Faces

Banana and Meatball

It's all me

The problem with Banana? It's really all me.

There is no need for me to be scared of my horse. And yes, I'm now scared of her. I don't know why. She was absolutely wonderful when the Taskmaster double lunged her yesterday. She is shockingly not sore from the trailer debacle. After she was done I walked around the arena with her so she'd roll and she was too busy walking with her nose pressed against my knee to roll. She does love me. Afterwards I took her to the Taskmaster's trailer, a three horse slant. She walked right on and backed off slowly. We did it again and again and again. She was fine and not at all concerned. I didn't try to close her in though. I was fine: not nervous, not scared, decided I'd ride her on Saturday and maybe do walk-trot at the show there on Sunday.

Then last night I filled out my entry. And my stomach just started to roil. And I started to freak. Today it's still happening. I'm riding other horses just fine, I rode Meatball yesterday and my new buddy Cappy (more on him later) today with no problems. Just the thought of Banana throws me into gastric and mental distress.

And here's the thing: she's really done nothing to bring about this amount of anxiety on my part. Yes, she's quick. But she's not bad, she's not naughty. She does do things because she's green, but not horrid things. Meatball can buck and Bean can spook and I don't get scared. All Banana does is go fast and I'm freaking out?

If you're thinking I need professional help you're right. Fortunately, I already have an appointment with my therapist scheduled in a few weeks. She's gotten me through horse fear before, I started seeing her after the concussion from the Bay Bolter and was having a horrible time functioning with my changed brain. She will probably say what she said then, "You know, you don't have to ride."

Right now... the thought of not riding is not devestating. My body hurts. It's probably just a flare up, as happens on occasion, or something new is starting. When I was competing with Penny everything was about having me able to ride. I don't feel that drive now. My guess is being at odds without a horsie partner. Bean tolerates what I make her do, Meatball would be just plain scary at an event, Penny is retired, and I've been over Banana. Cappy might be an option, and I enjoy him, but we're probably not going to be competing past pre-comp.

Secretary Fun

I have to share this e-mail I just sent out to our local D&CTA:

Are you tardy with your entry?

Just realized you haven't mailed your entry for our show this Sunday? If you send me an e-mail and pop it in the mail tomorrow you don't have to pay the late fee. Otherwise, the club gets $10 of your dollars for your poor secretary's pain and suffering. The club does need the money, so maybe I should be encouraging lateness, but I'm not a huge fan of pain and suffering. Especially when it's mine.

And remember! Entries for the May 12th show are due May 3rd, which is just over a week away. Unlike Hunter/Jumper shows late entries for dressage really screw up the planning. There's hand wringing and hair pulling involved. Stop secretary stress! Get your entries in on time.

Pam
(Okay, I was joking about the pain and suffering. And the hand wringing. The hair pulling is real.)


I have gotten more responses to it than any e-mail I've sent out before. Mental note: make all e-mails to the club amusing.

jumping chute

Last Thursday, before the horrid trailer experience, we'd set up a jumping chute. These pictures are not helping me.

Wee Fox!

 Split Ear's a mommy now! I'd suspected it was going to happen and it did. I only saw the one this morning.