Are you feeling neglected?

Its been a busy couple of weeks. Let's go back in time:

A couple of weeks ago was a local show and OOTT was in town as well. Flat lesson Friday, show Saturday, jumping lesson Sunday. Good thing my horse is ridiculously fit.

The show was good. We jumped all the things! I did Pile of Poles and X-Rails at an absolutely glacial trot pace. Sure, I was in theory showing, but I could have given a crap about the judge's assessment. The whole time all I thought about was, "Look up, sit up, look up, sit up." So, when Naners was thinking about not jumping a scary jump with flowers I looked up and kicked on. And, she went over it. We placed decently: 2nd of two in Pile of Poles Hunter, 1st of one in Pile of Poles Eq, 5th of 7 in WTC Hunter Under Saddle, 3rd of five in WTC Eq on the flat, 4th of 5 in Cross Rails Hunter, 1st of four in Cross Rails Eq. As you can probably tell, we did much better in Eq than Hunters, so I guess my Eq isn't as bad as I thought it had become. The cool thing is I won every color ribbon but green. As the Keeper of the Ribbons I have to decide if I want the dark ones or the light ones:

(God I love ordering ribbons. It's one of my favorite perks of my volunteer job. And no one else wants to do it anyway. And since we're almost out of blue ribbons again I get to order more!)

With a looming due date as soon as the show was over I was in essay writing mode. This time I got to talk about some type of equine training device or technique. I went with head restraint devices and techniques. Long story short? It's a short cut, horses find bit pressure aversive, and they don't actually learn from them anyway (there has to be a release of pressure (reward) when the horse is doing it right. Most of them don't allow a release of pressure.) When I was about 48 hours out from due time I was really slogging, but for some reason I turned on itunes and my inappropriate songs playlist. Inappropriate for who you ask? Probably just small children and religious people. They were not in my going to an event playlist for awhile as a tween girl was with us, but now that she's in High School I figure she's hearing worse. Anyway...


Pam's Inappropriate Songs Playlist

The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang
I Touch Myself by the Divinyls
The Clap and Inside of You by Infant Sorrow
I Think I Farted by Taryn Southern
Big Bottom by Spinal Tap

If you want to really laugh, go watch the Taryn Southern Video. No, wait, I'll embed it.

I also highly recommend her song Where Is My Goat? as well.

Another fun thing from my paper was discovering that Horse and Rider magazine is full of advice that has nothing to do with equine learning theory. The more I learn about learning theory the more I think every horse person I know should take a class in it. Oh are so many people getting it so wrong. Because seriously, "pull up on your horse's mouth to bring up the shoulders to get him on the bit." So contrary to everything dressage teaches, though I'm also learning dressage doesn't have it quite right either. Equitation Science is pretty cool though. There may very well be a day that cameras will be scoring dressage tests. Imagine it: a camera that will be able to say, "oh hey, that horse is so many degrees behind the vertical, so it should get this score because of that." Anyway, more on Equitation Science at the ISES website

On top of all this, we got a new puppy. When she was surrendered the owners said she was a Golden Retriever/German Shepherd mix. there is no GSD in this dog. However, we think it's very likely she could be a Great Pyrenees/Golden Retriever mix. She's almost 8 months old and was surrendered because she was "chewing on things." An activity that puppies like to do and if you don't give them appropriate chewing articles they'll find things. She's totally getting that toys and chewy bones are for chewing, shoes are not. She's mostly a pretty good girl and has been a nice addition to the family.

 

Loss

I've put down four horses now, two in the last nine months. I have sort of a protocol I follow emotionally. It's not something I planned on, it's just what has evolved going through this process.

I've decided I hate crying over them in their last days on this earth. I don't think it's fair to them to have to have a human blubbering over them over and over again. I generally have a good cry sometime in the days before, mourning the things that will not be. It's when the vet drives down the driveway I start to get teary. I try to hold it together till they get the sedative shot and then I cry over them and say goodbye as we walk to the hole (not a short walk.) Then I lose it, stroking them, telling them the same thing over and over. For Flanigan it was "I'm sorry" because I couldn't make him healthier. For Fudge it was "I love you" because I have never loved a horse as much as I loved her. Condor "You've been a good boy and you're very loved." Penny was, "Oh Pony." Once it's done I dry my tears and move on. Except Fudge, I can still cry over her.

So why am I telling you this?

Just before Christmas we had to put down our eldest Golden Retriever Snitch at 10. We'd only found out less than a month before he had cancer. No arthritis, no other issues. He went downhill fast. Putting him down was more painful than the horses, because the vet kept wanting to "give us time." By the time we had gotten to the vet we had said our goodbyes and prolonging it was torturing us humans. When all was said and done we were at the vet's for an hour. With a horse the vet is sometimes driving out of the driveway in 20 minutes. I much prefer horse vet's efficency.

I do plan to tell the small animal vet that really, while we don't want an express euthanasia, it would be nice if we could move it along a little faster the next time. It's not like they were busy: we were the only people in there on a saturday morning. I do think they thought they were being comforting and helpful, but for us they just weren't. The only way they'll know is if we tell them.

So what brought this up? Snitch's ashes are sitting on the piano. They're in a nice box with a plate with his name on it. I just cautiously opened the box, having no idea what would be in there. The ashes are inside a plastic bag, tied with a heart shaped brass tag with his name on it. Now I'm just crying. I miss my dog. Yes, there are three others and the four cats, but they're not the same. He was our first. He moved into our house in California before I did (I was out of town.) Hubby signed the papers on the house and then went right out to get the puppy we'd picked out from the breeder. He was not the prettiest golden retriever with his crazy curly hair, but he was funny. A complete and utter goon. He liked to chase flashlights and play with empty plastic bottles. He was submissive to everyone and everything. He let the other dogs, and cats, sleep on top of him. He was a good big brother and loved his humans. And we all loved him back.