RIP Pony Toes

It isn't fair that bad genetics made me let you go far too early.

I wrote this when I had to put down my beloved Fudge:

Nothing quite equals the love of a pony
From when they are young till they get old and bony.
they take up a big huge chunk of your heart
Then at their death it gets torn painfully apart
I will miss you my best equine friend
But I will do my best for you up till the end.
I hope that you're happier on the next plane
But right now all I can think of is pain
I hate that this is causing me such horrible grief
But I know that the end will be your relief.

Penny's Tail

If I needed another reason to know it's time for her, all I have to do is look under her tail. Which, she's not thrilled about doing at present, I suspect it hurts.

The friends

Bit? Or can I finally ride?

The Taskmaster is repossessing her baucher, the bit I've been riding Banana in. I therefore needed to go into my small pile and pull something out for her. I grabbed the myler comfort snaffle, as it's different than everything else we've had her in. Either she really, really likes it or I finally figured out how to ride my horse. She isn't rooting and is more accepting of contact. I've been having a lot of fun with her the last couple of rides. We've jumped small logs out in the field and over the ditches. She even jumped over the ditch today by herself to come see me. We jumped our first 2' fence on Saturday and our first tiny oxer today. She was completely steady when Penny and Sonny ran up to us the other day and were cavorting around her butt.

I am absolutely sure bringing her home was the right thing. We're really bonding. It's fun to be out with her in the evenings fussing (Penny was not tolerant of fussing.) She still walks very quickly, but I'm okay with it now as I know it doesn't mean she's going to take off, she just walks fast. We've been down the road with my favorite neighbor and her mules (who are in love with her.) She's a little silly until we meet up with them, but once with them I can ride her on the buckle.

She still needs crap loads of training, but I think we can probably safely get around an event at pre-comp this summer.

Sonny's back!

I've missed his sweet old man face. Banana is acting like she thinks he should be the model for the cover of 50 Bales of Hay.

Conversation from earlier:

Me: Vet, I think Banana might have ulcers.

Vet: I think Banana is giving you ulcers.

Banana's pacing is driving me nuts. Hence, Sonny coming, to see if his company might be more sufficient to her needs than Penny's. Right now I want to yell at the two of them to get a room, but that's far better than pacing.

Playtime at the Fox Den

And then there are the days even the big things don't help

The feel of a pony's muzzle on your hand as she licks apple juice from it. Trying to sear that feeling into your memory, knowing you won't get to feel it for much longer. The tears... knowing she's not well, knowing you're doing the right thing, mourning that your time left together is so limited. Pony, even though you haven't been able to really touch her in months standing there, your hand on her neck, while you sob. She gave me back my confidence when she shouldn't have. She took me over every jump, never questioning. I love her so much. Even with all of her quirks part of my soul is in that pony. She's like a pony horcrux. Maybe all horses are horcruxes: we give them part of our soul and when they die our soul dies too. Fortunately, we seem to be able to make unlimited horsie horcruxes. I'm trying to be pragmatic, but my being hurts.

Six foxes this morning

The small things aren't really small

There's a line in Under the Tuscan Sun that goes, "try to live your life spherically and with childish enthusiasm."

It very much sums up my outlook on life.

I take a lot of joy in things that many people don't bother to take the time to notice. I love the birds, even the early morning cacophony of the meadowlarks. I love that we have both House Finch and Mountain Bluebird nests in the backyard and three different types of hummingbirds come to the feeder. There's the foxes and the white clouds against the deep blue of our high elevation sky. The light of late afternoon, the sun approaching the horizon, a cool breeze blowing through the less obedient tendrils of my hair. My Heeler curled up next to me on the couch, his nose resting on my hip, snoring as he sleeps. Finding a wildflower, a particularly nice pinecone, or the cool spray of a waterfall full from spring snowmelt.

Take time to enjoy what others might term "the small things." Because when you appreciate them, they aren't small, but fulfilling.  I wonder if those that don't feel empty.

More than I thought! Three!

Baby fox is back

I was getting a little worried since I hadn't seen it in so long. Foxes do move their babies around to different dens, so maybe not as worried as I could have been. Still, I was quite relieved this morning. I guess there really is only one.

Baby Fox is starting intently at Pony Toes.

A funny thing to check off the bucket list

There is something I've been wanting to do most of my life...

Order horse show ribbons :D

And I didn't want to just order your standard blue, red, yellow, white, etc. I wanted to make them interesting. And now, thanks to Pony Club, I was able to. Fortunately, the DC was totally on board with my unconventional choice.

Way back in elementary school art class I learned about the color wheel. In said art class we learned how orange and blue go together, red and green, and yellow and purple. The ribbons I just ordered? First is blue and orange, second red and green, third yellow and purple, fourth white and black. I didn't just get the standard rosette either, we went with the Iverson. I am super, duper excited and hope they don't end up being a poor choice. If nothing else they'll be super unique. I will show pictures when they get here.

Show #4 In 5 Weeks

The last show out of my four was last weekend. A local dressage show that I wasn't necessarily planning on showing at, but it was pretty clear at Watermelon that Quirky the Connemara needs to get out more. Somehow, in between secretary duties, I rode him Intro B and we also did Dressage Seat Equitation so the other person in it could beat someone. I knew she'd beat us as I had no intention of cantering, but thought a little pressure, but not too much, would be good for the pony.

I refused to get into a show coat. I told people that morning they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all. I haven't been that tired in a long, long time. I don't know how those Hunter/Jumper types show weekend after weekend.

Our test was fair: 60%. I think she could have safely given us a lower score and I wouldn't have complained. It was much more appropriately judged than the same test was at Watermelon where we got some ridiculously bad score. But, the judge there definitely had a thing for warmbloods looking like they were in a frame, even false ones. This judge definitely judged on what the horses at that level should be looking like.

In Dressage Seat Eq I was told I "have a lovely hunter seat, but need to lengthen my leg so I can use my aids better." Well yes, I would love to ride with a longer leg. But, there's something about dressage saddles my hip does not care for, we're talking hurts so bad you can't sleep pain. So I've been avoiding dressage saddles while I get things sorted out.

We've also sorted out that Quirky does has an offness to his gait, that I've been feeling for weeks but we couldn't pinpoint. If you look at the top picture his hind hits earlier than the fore in the trot. His mom is going to have him looked at now that we've figured out there truly is something amiss.

In Intro B we weren't against anyone, so a blue for the pony. I spent part of the afternoon scribing for the first time and got to scribe for some Western Dressage. It was nice to learn about it from the judge, who is wholeheartedly embracing it. Maybe Banana and I will add it to our "to-do" list.

Banana's First Horse Show

Somehow, in the insanity that has been the last couple of weeks I forgot to recap Banana's first horse show. It was the same show that I got up close and personal with the dirt, but that was a bit later in the day.

Due to having been scared of her just the day before, I decided not to push it and did Walk-Trot flat and Pile Of Poles. She was mostly good. A bit fussy, but not too bad. We even actually cantered part of the Jumper course (yes, Pile Of Poles Jumper. Don't judge us.)

We didn't actually compete against anyone, so four blues. Go us :D

Not ready yet

I love Pony Toes dearly, but she's clearly going downhill mentally. I wish I had just put her down with Condor. Actually, I don't. I wish my pony was healthy and had a long life ahead of her, but she doesn't. The reason I didn't is because I can't leave Banana alone, she will lose it and I couldn't think of a fast replacement. I totally forgot I could borrow Sonny. I think it was selective memory as no matter how degenerative she is I still won't be ready to say goodbye.

So now I probably get to pay for a second hole in the near future. She's barely touchable these days and oh so incredibly fat because I can't get her muzzle on, or if I get it on I can't get it off. Right now I really need to send Banana out for more training, which will leave Penny alone. She's been just fine alone in the past, but with her current mental frame I don't think she will be. I had the chiropractor out last week (she hasn't seen her in a good 9 months) and she feels that Penny isn't happy and is a completely different pony than she used to be and not in a good way. I completely agree with that.

I am a firm believer that it's better to let them go sooner as opposed to later. The longer I drag it out the more opportunity there is for her to get worse. I suspect there will be a time when I won't be able to touch her at all and the vet will have to shoot tranquilizer at her with a blow gun (okay, that's not what she does, as I asked her) so we can get the deed done. But I can't help wanting to delay what is going to be very painful for me as long as I can. But, it's going to be equally painful whenever I do it, and generally I find the aftermath easier than the anticipating.

One of my finest moments as an equestrian

The other weekend during the H/J show at the Taskmasters I decided to take Sir Thomas out over X-Rails for shits and giggles.

He's an awesome little jumper and we went over a lot of jumps.

I was starting to get a bit tired, but there was another jump in the line and I thought, just one more...

When I landed I swear the footing reached up and grabbed my foot, as the next thing I knew I was staring at the dirt.

Sir Thomas was concerned.

I survived with bruised knees and a scrape on my elbow.

And so goes the tale of falling while jumping a mini.