Way back when I taught horseback riding at a summer camp. I had a kid and horse that just could not get it together. Kid was, understandably, frustrated. She was a fine rider, horse was not the worst one in the barn. They were just having a massive communication problem. For whatever reason, it was like she was speaking German and the horse only knew Mandarin. When I told her this, that she wasn't bad, the horse wasn't bad, they just weren't communicating the right way yet all her frustration melted out of her. I think one of the big parts of frustration is knowing something is wrong, but having no idea how to fix it. For her, knowing what the issue was helped her figure out how to deal with it. So she fiddled and tried things until she and the horse were able to work together.
I'm pretty sure if I had been on the outside of my relationship with Banana I would have seen that our problem was like that camper and horse: a massive communications breakdown. I knew something wasn't right with us, but couldn't figure out what it was. I thought it was a problem with me, with her, that we'd never get past it, I should sell her, etc... Turns out, once she gets off the forehand she's a nice horse. However, getting her off the forehand is difficult and I wasn't given the tools to deal with it until recently. I suspect I do it without thinking on other horses, but Banana's forehandedness was on a whole new level than I've dealt with in a long time.
I had a lovely ride on her yesterday. She's figured out she can't be on the forehand and jump, so she's now getting off it herself when she sees a jump. It makes things far easier on me. I'm thinking if I went over a cross-rail before a dressage test we'd kick butt.
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